I’ve only been running 12 times but I think I’m fitter already. Last week I had to run up an escalator coz I was fashionably late for something and it was easy. I didn’t even think about it. I think I might be a runner! I’ve started telling everyone what a cool thing it is to do and the sense of achievement I feel at the end of a run. My top 3 phrases are:
"I never thought I could be a runner but Couch to 5k has made it feel really doable and now I love it!”
“Seriously, it’s completely free, you just download the podcast - I could never afford the gym!”
“It’s great coz it’s like a personal trainer!”
Somebody, shut me up.
Week 5 is here, I have reached the 5th week of Operation Be A Running Human. Things are hot in the United Kingdom and it’s time for me to sweat all over Horley. At this point I’m going to say something about sports bras….none of mine fit. I’m wearing sports bras from 5+ years ago and the effect is pretty inappropriate. Ladies, if you want everyone to think you have massive mammajammas just buy a sports bra a size too small. Here you go, this is me after one of my runs this week looking like the cool, collected, athletic machine I have become this past 5 weeks.
Day 1: Laura tells me pretty early on in this podcast that things are getting effing serious this week. She swears and everything (she doesn’t). This week is weird because instead of a podcast you repeat 3 times it’s a separate podcast for each day. 3 different runs - it’s serious this time. Day 1’s run is 3 lots of 5 minutes of running with a 3 minute recovery walk between each run. The sun was pretty killer and as I started my first of the 3 runs I thought it was going to be too hard to complete. I felt like a Calippo melting in the sun. Luckily my running route is mostly shaded and as soon as I got in to shaded woodland I was fine. What an anecdote! Laura tells you when you have 60 seconds left of each running interval and I decided to try to gun the last minute of each run to see how far I could get. This was where my new fitness level became apparent…obviously I sweated more (yumskies) and got out of breath by sprint-finishing my intervals but I could do the whole minute-sprint AND my recovery was way quicker than the 3 minutes I was given. This shit be great.
Day 2: What’s that, Laura? Two 8-minute runs with 5 minutes of walking in between? Running for 8 minutes solidly was not the easiest, especially as it was the first thing I did when I got out of bed. I think I’ve discovered the reason I get so ridiculously hot too - my Sporty Spice Adidas trousers are basically fleece-lined. They’re going to be wonderful during the winter but for now they’re acting as a cruel prank on my new running self. The pricks.
Day 3: I was really worried about this, I won’t lie. The third run of the 5th week of Couch to 5k gets you to run for 20 minutes without stopping. Going from 8 minutes without a break to 20 minutes seemed unfeasible. But I donned my Adidas fleece-jokes (they’re the only running trews I have with a damn pocket for my 1992 iPod Classic) and trusted Laura’s cold indifferent voice. We all KNOW you don’t ACTUALLY think I’m doing really well, Laura! Djokovic beat Federer, I ate a whole crapton of roast pork, I let it go down and then I set off on my first 20 minute run in the fading light of a well grey day. It. Was. Fine! At no point did I feel myself flagging particularly and I put that down to the lower temperature. It is WAY easier to run when it’s a bit cooler. Who knew!? Everybody? #stupidSooz
I’ll share a secret with you that makes me look a total dick…when my 20 minutes of running was up (complete with sprint finish) Laura told me to slow down and said "well done" and I did the Mobot. I actually did. When actual Mo Farah does the Mobot we roll our eyes so how I thought I could get away with it just coz I’d run for about 2 miles is beyond me. I wish I was lying to make this a more interesting blog…although if it was a lie it hasn’t made the blog more interesting, just sadder. What a sad blog. See you next week!